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                                如何怎么樣去維持異地戀愛的感情

                                時間:2017-09-19 23:48來源:未知 作者:admin 點擊:
                                如何維持異地戀的10個技巧

                                1.制造驚喜
                                 
                                你會經常聽別人說,“我喜歡驚喜”。驚喜很好玩,因為它來得突然,而且表現了制造驚喜之人的體貼和好玩。想想看有什么你可以給人家制造驚喜的。但是別讓人覺得早該有了,那么他們就會盼著驚喜了。
                                 
                                 
                                2.千里寄相思
                                 
                                時不時地給出于異地的伴侶準備一些東西寄過去,表達你的掛念。下面列了些東西僅供參考(自己規劃,當然不是讓你一次都寄出去):
                                 
                                書,電話卡,好心思巧克力,音樂,視頻留言,智力測驗,糖果,真玫瑰,明信片,毛絨玩具,假玫瑰,度假用的東西,裝在瓶子里的留言,巧克力玫瑰,壓花,你的照片,雕刻的玫瑰,禮品卡,珠寶,心靈的“鑰匙”,泡沫浴,電影票,個性化的詩文。
                                 
                                禮物越個性化,對方收到的時候作用越大。比如,發些你的照片,在上面做個表達“我愛你的”(當然你可以寫個名字在上面,別留個空白的)。當你寄書的時候,記得要選對方有激情看的,再寫個紙條夾在里面,每次都這么做。寄音樂的時候,也寫點有關的東西,讓她/他知道你在想她/他.去M&M網站訂購個性化的牛奶巧克力糖果。智力測驗也可以訂制。給你的伴侶所在地的SPA(溫泉浴)打電話辦個卡給她/他寄過去!
                                 
                                越是個性化和有想象力,你的伴侶就對你的體貼印象越深刻。
                                 
                                你是柔韌有余的人嗎?
                                 
                                凡期望在人生道路上獲得成功者,智商
                                 
                                愛別人還是愛你自己?
                                 
                                你每天在鏡子前會花多長時間?……
                                 
                                您和愛人相互適應嗎?
                                 
                                美滿的婚姻是不斷磨合出來的!
                                 
                                維持友情能力如何?
                                 
                                你朋友多嗎?你和朋友的關系穩定嗎?你的……
                                 
                                 
                                3.給你們的關系定下一些原則和規定
                                 
                                在一份對異地關系的研究中,格雷格*居德納博士發現70%的異地夫妻沒有設定原則,或者處理變化,于是在半年內分道揚鑣了。這就意味著雙方設定些指導你們異地關系的原則是及其重要的。這包括雙方同意不能跟其他人約會,每天都交流,至少兩三個月要見一面。
                                 
                                 
                                4.規劃定期見面
                                 
                                經常見面對于異地關系的成功是非常重要的。向第一條一樣,定個準則,多久見一次,什么時候見。訂好了日子后要確保那天不受干擾。當你取消見面的時候(“朋友們邀請我去海邊玩兒”或者“我忘了那周要期末考試了”),你就是在給對方說這段感情對你來說不算什么。為了見她/他,你應該取消所有安排。如果你讓其他事情干擾了見面,那么可能該重新考慮為什么要在一起了。
                                 
                                 
                                5.把你的感情表達出來
                                 
                                通過電子郵件,即時通訊工具,電話來表達你的情感對于你們的關系的發展和穩定是非常重要的。其中一個可以增進你們的關系的穩定的方式是安慰她/他你會負責的,讓對方放心。當你表達出你的感情的時候,你就是對方知道你在付出,你會維護好你們的關系。
                                 
                                 
                                6.每天都交流交流
                                 
                                成功的異地關系部分是因為能夠仿照正常關系的模式。其中之一就是每天的交流。互聯網的出現對于處于異地關系的人們簡直是天賜之物。不僅是你們可以免費地通過電子郵件和即時通訊工具溝通,而且還可以通過免費的Skype服務互相聊天。這就免了每個月500美金的電話費了。
                                 
                                 
                                7.信賴彼此
                                 
                                自尊心不強以及缺乏信任會破壞美好的關系。舉個例子,我知道一個女的遇見一個不錯的男的,是在她花了3年時間從前一段感情中“恢復”過來后遇到的第一個男人。不幸的是,她仍然背著上一次失敗了的感情的包袱。她把這個好男人歸入到壞男人的行列,多疑,沒有安全感,最終失去了他。
                                 
                                別把現在的對象和陳年往事糾纏到一塊去。 給現在的人一個機會。我的哲學是,我完全相信你,直到你不值當相信為止。如果深處異地還不相信對方,那么你就是自己破壞自己的感情。
                                 
                                 
                                8.兩地同時過
                                 
                                即使你和另一半離幾個小時遠,也可以一起體驗“約會夜”。比如在兩地同時去看大片。計劃好同時去看電影,完了給對方打電話討論下。知道對方在同一時間和你做同一件事情是很好玩的。盡管分處兩地,你們也可以“一起”分享一段時間。
                                 
                                 
                                9.別想當然
                                 
                                對彼此間的感情要確信不疑。不要想當然人家知道你在想什么——要跟她/分享。不管是好是壞,對你們的感情不能含糊。想當然會斷送異地關系,而明確的交流會使異地關系走向成功。讓另一個人知道你的抱負,恐懼,情緒和渴望。這有助于對方跟你分享更深入的東西,當你們一起努力掌握了溝通能力后。
                                 
                                 
                                10.分享激情
                                 
                                如果能夠水乳交融,你會更了解你的伴侶的,特別是深處異地。之后,你就會更清楚對方的好惡,還有激情。搞清楚她/他對什么比較有激情,然后你可以加入。比方說對方喜歡網球,你卻從未打過。那就從網球課開始吧,然后跟人家交流交流。想想你們倆對什么都有激情,然后一起分享,是會大大增強你們的關系。



                                異地戀人需要面對的各種考驗


                                先保持自身的溫度。自己的溫度足夠高的時候,周圍的人必然會被你溫暖到。保持或提升溫度的本質是提升自己的生命能量。也就是讓你的心時常處在一個開放的狀態,不斷地能感受到萬事萬物的美好,一朵花、一片云、一個孩子的笑臉、一本書,無不讓你感受到其中的美。你就能不斷地吸收能量來充實自己,而不需要身在異地的Ta來填補你的空虛和匱乏。


                                別讓猜疑來降溫。身處異地,很多時候戀人們只能靠自己的想象來揣摩對方每天都在干些什么。當自己內心不夠確定的時候,常常會忍不住去猜疑對方。猜疑會帶來不安,當一些人用追查、追問的方式去試圖消除不安時,往往讓對方很無奈,甚至是憤怒。而所有這些負性情緒處理不好都會消耗能量,導致情感溫度下降。

                                 
                                 
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                                更多精彩請看下頁:上一篇:男人為何不敢娶美女,尤其是那些性感的美女 下一篇:20個男生必須知道的女生的小心思
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