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                                我們抗爭我們妥協,都是為了被認同

                                時間:2018-10-09 14:41來源:人生哲理網 作者:田步祥 點擊:
                                我們抗爭我們妥協,都是為了被認同

                                人們之所以要在某個地方,某人身上,某段關系或是群體中找歸屬感,是因為歸屬感是人的情感需要,只有對方才能提供。在這里有真實的自己,會受到來自外界的肯定和重視。我們投身學習,工作,生活都是為了被主流社會認同,這么做讓多數人人感到安全,不再空虛孤獨。

                                愿望常常和現實相悖,有時越是努力融入,越是不被接納,做的越多差的越多。常常被拒之門外。

                                被排斥是什么樣的感覺?當事人會覺得窘迫尷尬。當看到同學在一起笑談,氣氛熱烈,你打算走過去加入,大家看到你走過來停止了談話,你不知道自己哪里討人厭了?竊竊私語的朋友看到你過來了立馬裝作什么都沒發生的事,難道是自己做錯了什么?上大學的時候,宿舍的人早起都三三兩兩一起去吃早餐上課,如果你不主動叫人,就沒人主動和自己一起吃飯,一起去上課。你不算好看但也絕對不丑,不高不矮,不胖也不瘦,沒有口臭,也算有禮貌,成績也不錯,怎么就融入不了她們的圈子?甚至被你討厭的人言語表示排斥,心理明知道那個家伙不算什么,可還是忍不住心情糟糕,你百思不得其所。

                                隨著年歲的增長,通過刻意的學習和練習,我似乎有了不錯的社交經驗,可以和不同的人在不同的場合聊得不錯。但在我內心深處,仍然恐懼被排斥被拒絕,怕真的發生了,我會不知所措,內心糾結。

                                人是社會動物,需要活在群體里,渴望被其他人和群體認同接納。只有這樣,好像才是真的自己。當然那些極度自信的人除外。不但成人世界是這樣,孩子也有極強的被融入感。

                                一次我和女兒們在一起玩,因為姐姐把玩具摔來摔去,我就對妹妹說:你過來,我告訴你一個悄悄話。妹妹開心地跑到我身邊,我在她耳邊輕輕說一句話,什么內容都沒有,就是啊啊啊幾聲。但是妹妹依然說:啊,啊,好,好。姐姐看到這一幕臉上的表情凝固了,一會她就撅起嘴,開始生氣,大聲喊叫,她認為我們排斥了她。她說:你們真討厭!然后她問妹妹:你們剛才說了什么悄悄話?

                                妹妹說:不知道,不告訴你。

                                被別人排斥的痛那么小孩子都感受顯著,現實中那種來自家庭,來自朋友,來自陌生人的排斥傷害不計其數,慢慢積累,一定會對心靈形成難以估量的傷害。

                                然后我拉著妹妹故意聲音比較大地說“悄悄話”:你聽話,一會咱們一起吃芒果酸奶噢。

                                姐姐在一旁偷偷地聽,然后開心地大聲說:你們說的悄悄話,我聽到了,哈哈....你們說一會兒吃芒果酸奶。她因為和我們分享到同一個秘密,感覺和我們一樣了,在同一圈子里了。

                                我裝做懊惱的樣子:哎呀,怎么叫你聽到了!然后我們三人一起笑起來。

                                長大后記憶深刻的不是快樂的事兒,而是童年時期的痛苦,一般以不起眼的小事做代表。反應的是持久地心靈一種心理傷害。尤記得上一年級的時候,有一次吃壞肚子,又不敢跟老師說,結果拉在褲子里。同學們都笑話我,不和我玩,這事發生過很久還對著我說真臭,臭死了。因為沒人和我玩,我孤零零站在墻邊看著同學們開心地玩耍。我拒絕上學但不得不去,心靈備受煎熬,成績倒數。不停加壓的火山,總會有一點火星點燃它。因為口角和小伙伴打架,并生生揪掉了她的頭頂一綹子頭發,搞出了很大的事。老師和我媽說這孩子個子小,成績也不好,還太野,讓她留一級吧。于是我重新回到幼兒班等待和下一級學生一起上一年級,和他們一起上學沒人知道我拉褲子的事兒,我不再恐懼上學,沒有了排斥和拒絕的心理壓力,成績名列前茅。老師和媽媽的決定改變了我變成小太妹的命運。可見每個“心狠手辣,離經叛道”的問題孩子其背后都有不被接納的痛感。

                                我不知道為什么她們狠狠打我,我也沒松開我的手,直到生生扯下那個女孩的頭發。那種痛感,那種毀滅自己也要報復人的恨意,現在我也能清楚地感受得到。而那時的我并不天生暴力,看到小動物會憐惜,看到被折斷頭的小樹也會難過,和人說話也是低聲細語的。人真的一個奇怪的矛盾體,善和惡終其一生都在搶奪心靈。這件事埋藏在現在從未跟人說過,我害怕別人異樣的目光,過不了內心那一關,現在我把它說出來,感到輕松。我傷害過的女孩——對不起,傷害過我的人也得到了我的原諒,人生感悟那時我們還是孩子,都曾因無知傷害別人,被別人傷害。也都為此付出代價,最終選擇了善。

                                有人在傷害中徹底封閉了自己,走向另外的極端,但有很多在成長過程中經歷過被排斥的人,都會記得那么一兩個人,曾經在世界一片黑暗的時候給了他一點點善意,或者有幸換一個環境重生。就是這一點點善意,能夠在很多年的時間里持續地給他力量。新的環境重塑了一個人,一旦有機會就不放棄對善的追尋。

                                不管是誰都有過被排斥的經歷,或輕或重。自己也曾有意無意的忽略過別人,也或輕或重地排斥過一些自己所不能接納的人。用正確的心態對待被排斥,冷靜地放寬胸懷。

                                排斥可以在無端的情況下發生。人性是很復雜的,既有極端的善,也有極端的惡,且兩種極端可以真實地、同時地在一個人身上共存。被排斥的你不是“不值得”的,而排斥你的很多人也并非“邪惡”的人。這樣想,既能減少自我的質疑和苛責,也能降低對未來人際關系的恐懼以及憤怒。

                                你不可能在整個人生中都獲得所有人的善待。如果那些拒絕和排斥發生了,接受它,作為生活中不盡如人意的一個部分。一個對生活合理的期待能幫你更心平氣和地看待痛苦的經歷。痛苦本來就是生活無法回避的一個部分。

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