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                                短信大全頻道-專業分享各類好玩的短信,幽默的短信,唯美祝福語短信等等
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                                正月十五搞笑短信小笑話-力挺元宵節

                                時間:2018-10-09 14:42來源:人生哲理網 作者:田步祥 點擊:


                                1、春天是什么?春天是新舊交替的開始,讓那些厚重的衣物束縛統統見鬼去吧!


                                2、開心果果: 終于會讀了】三個金念鑫(xīn)三個水念淼(miǎo)三個土念垚(yáo)三個牛念犇(bēn)三個手念掱(pá)三個田念畾(lěi)三個馬念骉(biāo)三個羊念(shān)三個犬念猋(biāo)三個鹿念麤(cū)三個魚念鱻(xiān)三個貝念赑(bì)三個毛念毳(cuì)三個車念轟(hōng)俏皮話精選


                                3、心理輔導是沒有用的,當我看見我們的女人摟著有錢人,有錢人摟著官員,官員摟著老板,老板摟著林志玲,你怎么給我心理輔導?……有混的好的男同學,那是靠家里,有混的好的女同學,那是嫁的好……方圓幾百公里內,連個現實的勵志故事都沒有,這就是很多中國年輕人的生活。(韓寒)


                                4、同事告訴我,她買了雙UGG的靴子,我問她為什么今年這個靴子特別流行,她告訴我說,穿了這個靴子就可以找到男朋友了,我想了一會猛然醒悟。。。 (UGG等于有哥哥,還是UGG等于有雞雞)


                                5、愛情:告訴你一個秘密好嗎?——我最大的秘密,就是你;旅行:有我和你手拉手,哪里都像是旅游;生活:每年花三百六十五天的時間來給自己買一個名聲,叫做:生活;時代:每個時代都是這樣的,每個時代只要過去了都一樣會有人懷念;價值:任何東西在未被標價以前都是無價的。~~~


                                6、女友不解地問男友:”為什么男人有很多女朋友會被人羨慕,而女人有很多男友會被鄙視?”男友語重心長地說:”就好像是一把鑰匙可以開很多鎖,會被人稱作萬能鑰匙,而一把鎖若是可以被很多鑰匙開,那就說明鎖有問題!”


                                7、大學生活可短暫了,寢室一出一進一天過去了;寢室一出不進四年就過去了!你知道大學最痛苦的事情是什么嗎?那就是沒去上課,老師點名了!你知道大學最最痛苦的是什么嗎?去上課了老師沒點名;那你知道比這兩種都痛苦的是什么嗎?那就是第一節課去了老師沒點名,第二節課走了老師點名了!(給正在上學的童年鞋們)


                                8、那是很久以前的一個夜晚, 一個少年正往電線桿上刷漿糊,準備貼一張治性病的廣告。黑暗中我悄悄走到他身后,說,你干什么呢?少年跳起來,扔了刷子,扔了裝漿糊的桶,扔了還沒來得及貼的幾十張廣告,跑了。我沒辦法,掏出一張辦證廣告,端端正正的貼在他刷的漿糊上。


                                9、飲水機和一群電腦打麻將,飲水機每天輸依然天天打。旁邊的沙發問椅子:“飲水機天天輸,為啥還要打呢?”椅子答:“問這種問題,你腦袋進水了吧!”(最后明白原來飲水機腦子里全是水)


                                10、想起在學校的一件很有愛的事~一晚室友特大方翻出他的“私人儲備”分給全宿舍人吃~末了他來一句:“你們趕快吃,等會兒12點一過這餅干就過期了~”。。。

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                                更多精彩請看下頁:上一篇:給今天添加活力的搞笑短信,雜七雜八的幽默 下一篇:情人節過后的幽默搞笑短信,214不是老婆節
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